Trend Alert: Underboob!

Let's take a quick stroll down memory lane. 

Remember way back in the early 2010’s when sideboob became a thing? We cut all the armpits of our ratty t-shirts down to our pelvis, and bought the shirts with the lowest back to let the maximum titty hang out the side. We blurred the lines between fashion and flashin’.  Well, I did at least. #noshame

#tbt #mileysworld

It was a universally flattering trend for the full-busted and flat-chested, showing just enough to garner interest but not enough to expose your insecurities. Side-boob didn't have to include side-tummy! And besides, who notices tummy when there's a tasty slab of breastmeat out to play.

As trends tend to do, sideboob twisted, hibernated, morphed, and came out as a the revolutionary underboob trend. The sideboob’s fine and fearless sister arrived in full swing, with tops cropped to the extreme.  I've seen these everywhere. As in, everywhere on the Internet, because I don't leave my house, but still. I've seen a lot of different backdrops. Catch a boob bottom on the boardwalk, at the mall, and even on the fashion runways. 

Circular Barbell Softcup Bra by The End Lingerie

Now underboob, as with most things, has spilled her way into the world of lingerie. How are we feeling? Excited? Disgusted? Or are we all feeling as conflicted as I am?

Vetra Bralette by Leda By Night

Fashion trends, and especially first wave lingerie trends, tend to favor tiny busts at their birth. When I first saw it, I worried it was one that would favor tiny busts forever. Realistically, ya'll. How would that work?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m no bodyshamer, and I’m a firm believer that anyone in any size should wear what they choose.  But sometimes (like in the case of those clearance shoes that only come in the 6.5, and let's face it - you're really a solid 8) gravity and chance get in the way of what we want.

Open Cup Harness Bralette by Lacegrenade

 Take, for example, this bralette by Lacegrenade.  If my breasts got back to their post-op size, about a 30DD, I'd be all over this. And not just one, but every color. Think of the layering options under clothes! Think of the sex-factor impact out of clothes! It's the perfect mix of accessory and practicality.  And while I'm personally not that far off, there's a majority of folks who are. 

Callie Cut-Out Bra by Peek and Beau

But the heart wants what it wants. When there's a will, there's a way. And nobody puts underboob in the corner. 

Luckily for us folks with the bigger busts, there are more structured takes on this trend.  Playful Promises' mini brand Peek and Beau makes an underboob option in standard sizing all the way to plus, bringing the opportunity to a broader audience. Wire is there for a little extra security, and lacing up at the top for a little extra bite. 

Emilia Bra by Bluebella

Although offering more of a standard sizing range, Bluebella can easily be sister-sized for some of us trying to get that look without losing our lumps to the wind.  Let's face it, you're not wearing a cutout bra for the amazing lift and shape it's going to give you. 

And last but definitely not least, for those of you with the phat wallets, a luxury option.  It might be least practical of all the options, but it's so damn opulent I doubt anyone would mind. 

Fever Halter Bra by Coco De Mer

I could keep listing and listing, but my spending is already out of control. Time to wrap this one up, folks. 

For this story, the ending is a happy one. The gorgeous underboob is a trend with new adaptations, newer twists, and brands working hard to open doors for as many boobs as possible to walk in and join the party.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go on a shopping bender I really can't afford. Ever wondered the real reason why there's such long breaks between my posts? 

Each post leads to bankruptcy. 

Dark Knights: Hopeless Lingerie's 'Lucy2'

I've been gone a long time, and with that break I let go of two cup sizes and a fair amount of funds into home improvements (no Tim Allen included). Sup, ya'll. I'm back with not a lot of money and not a lot of worthwhile blogging material. But I do have this lil gem - and I've had a few months to marinate on it, so what's up. 

I got this bralette a while ago, maybe back in the dark days of winter, maybe in the spring.  I had originally ordered the plain old Lucy, a tried and true Hopeless style that I'd been eyeing for ages, but Gaby offered me the Lucy2, which had not been released at the time. Racerback? Extra support? Yes please. Gaby was awesome and kept me informed, even accommodating a size change that came a month after I placed my order for this custom-sized baby. 

I watched The Holiday today, and if anything from that trash-ass movie resonates for anything in life, you can't fit a square peg into a round hole. It feels like this bralette and I were just not meant to be. But before we go into that, let's dissect this gorgeous piece a little further.  For sizing insight, I believe Hopeless combined an XS band and an XL top. 

Solid elastic makes up a practical and sturdy band. It's perfectly snug, probably the best-fitting band I have on a bralette. The big-cup-lil-band folks will feel me on this; bralettes are often a dance of sliding out the top and bottom, a lot of bouncing, and a lot of adjusting. Lucy II stays in place perfectly, and has three hooks on the back to choose from. Tightest feels most secure for me, but for visual purposes I prefer the loosest. Like a good bra, both work for all intents and purposes. 

The difference with the Lucy2 is the racerback, connected with a lovely little silver ring. The straps are made of a standard satin elastic, and every strap on the thing is adjustable with little silver sliders. Each strap connects to the body with a tinier silver ring that the beauty on the back.  Adjustability, racerback, and a strong sensitve man band should be the makings of a dreamy full-bust bralette, right?

Before I even get into it, I don't want any mixups. This bralette is amazing - fantastic quality and gorgeous look that you expect from Hopeless. And when I'm standing still for an indefinite amount of time, it lives up to the hype.  If I wear something compressive over this, like a strapless top or a close cropped cami, everything will (mostly) stay in place, and the detail of these swooping double straps gets to shine as it should.  The tough thing is, fuller breasts move, fabric moves, and before you know it, your nipple ring is snagged on a fine edge of a cup and you're screaming for help. 

It often feels like there's just too much fabric on the side. It goes clear into my armpit, leaves the girls hanging in the front. The top and bottom feel mismatched.

I guess it feels like what it is - an XS band with an XL cup, and while it works in theory, it doesn't account for some of the needs fuller busts like mine can have - like extra security. The cup is just wide in all the wrong places. It reinforces what I'm starting to think is just a simple truth for those who teeter over the edge of DD: true plunges aren't in our cards. Is that this bralette's fault? No. It's just fact.  Like the fact that mid-rise jeans are high-rise on my tiny stumpy torso. Sometimes, life be like that.

The only true, real criticism I have of the bralette is that the sliders don't stay in place. Everything else? It's a gorgeous piece, the mesh is dainty and soft as you'd expect, and the aesthetic rules. If you ain't got loosey-goosey sandbag titties like myself, I 110% recommend you scoop this puppy up. 

For now, I'll leave you with this: I'm getting a new schedule, a raise, and and unfortunate lack of sunlight. Get ready for the traffic to pick up on this page.